A Woman A Gun and a Noodle Shop

A Woman, A Gun and a Noodle Shop
Starring: Sun Hunglei,Ziao Shenyang, Yan Ni,
Genre: Thriller,Drama,Comedy
Director: Zhang Yimou
Rated: R


Zhang Yimou (Hero, House of Flying Daggers) brings an Asian spin to the Cohen Brother’s cinematic debut “Blood Simple”

In the middle of a small western town at the end of the great wall lies a lone noodle shop owned by Wang (Ni Dahong) a miserable miser with a penchant for not paying his staff and abusing his wife (Yan Ni). When Wang learns from the local sheriff Zhang (Sun Hunglei) that his wife is having an affair with Li (Xiao Shenyang) one of his noodle cooks. He propositions Zhang to kill his wife and her lover. Soon Wang learns that Zhang is not the honorable sheriff he appeared to be.

Zhang Yimou’s take on blood simple, while ultimately telling the same tale provides some subtle differences, most notably being the light comedic touch throughout the film. From the opening scene where Wangs wife haggles with a Persian arms dealer, it is obvious that the tone is vastly different from that of the film it was based upon.

The entire tale is set amidst a baron landscape with a strong use of over saturation of color, The use of this effect lends a vivacity to the outfits, creating such a stark contrast between the deep red’s of the hills and canyons and each characters costume. That one can follow the entire story based solely on each characters assigned color.

There are subtle character variations in the main story; most notably being Wang’s wife who is a much stronger woman in this retelling than in the original, while Li’s character is meek and more worried about upsetting Wang than anything else. The Characters of waiter Zhou and Waitress Chen are played mostly for laughs with Zhou portraying the Asian stereotype complete with buckteeth.

Being such a small film with such a small cast of characters truly leaves a lot of weight on the shoulders of Yan Ni and Sun Hunglei if Yan is not able to deliver on her motivation for wanting to leave her husband or if Sun is not able to deliver as the cold and calculated sheriff the tale would fall apart; thankfully both deliver exceptional performances.

Two scenes that stand out the best at displaying the differences between “A Woman A Gun and a Noodle Shop” and “Blood Simple” are the burial scene which delivers its own unique take on Wangs death, and the true highlight of the film which is the choreography displayed while the team trades off noodle stretching duties. This sequence rivals any action sequence of recent memory and was mesmerizing.

A Woman A Gun and A Noodle Shop is a great reimaging of a Cohen classic, offering up its own unique style while delivering gorgeous visuals and unexpected humor.

Grade-92

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The Last Exorcism

The Last Exorcism

Starring: Patrick Fabian, Ashley Bell, Louis Herthum, Caleb Landry Jones

Genre: Horror

Director: Daniel Stamm

Rated: PG-13

A charismatic pastor heads to a farm in rural Louisiana with a documentary crew in tow to reveal that exorcism is really a con and that demons and possession don’t exist.

Cotton Marcus (Patrick Fabian) was raised from a young age to become a pastor, learning the craft from his father. Upon reading about a death that occurred during an exorcism he sets out to expose exorcism as nothing more than an elaborate con.  Along with a film crew including the producer Iris (Iris Reisen) and a cameraman, Cotton heads to the Sweetzer farm where he meets the father Louis (Louis Sweetzer) his son Caleb (Caleb Landry Jones) and the daughter Louis believes is possessed Nell (Ashley Bell).  After Cotton performs the exorcism he soon begins to learn more about the situation Nell is in which leads to more questions, does she have mental problems or is she might actually possessed.

The Last Exorcism is the latest in the pseudo horror documentary genre (Blair Witch, Paranormal Activity) the opening of the movie when we learn about Cotton is more of a comedy than anything else, whether its delivering a banana bread recipe for the camera crew mid sermon or attaching the magnetic fish to the back of his van. Cotton is man who is all show and no substance, not actually believing a word he is saying.

When Cotton comes across the Sweetzers he performs the exorcism on Nell all the while revealing what a showman he really is. It’s only upon return back to his hotel when Nell shows up that Cotton begin to have his doubts and show some real concern. This is when Cotton and the crew decide to try and save Nell for real.

If your expecting any head spinning or something that is even remotely close to the poster, you will be sadly mistaken. Nell is never standing in the corner of the ceiling (she is sitting on a dresser though) Apart from turning her neck at a weird angle or breaking her own finger there isn’t a lot of possession to Nell save for a few blank stares.

The biggest issue with the movie is going to be its ending which some are going to say is very similar to Blair Witch, most will say it felt like it was tacked on and forced with a tone completely different from the rest of the movie. The minority will be the ones that say they like how it is left open ended and left to interpretation. (If this same person brings up the ending to Inception, immediately slap them across the face).

While I am all for utilizing the power of my mind to fill in the blanks and interpret a film there is something fundamentally wrong about a possession movie and never knowing if Nell is in fact possessed. The cult scene at the end is a weak attempt at trying to be clever. I am still confused how a girl not showing who turns out to be pregnant can have a baby even when she isn’t nine months pregnant, Just by laying on some altar. The ending truly feels like it is a cheap cop. A few minutes should have been worked in to add more backstory to the satanic cult to at least provide a plausible reason as to there motive.

Within five minutes there is pentagram on the ceiling and then the townspeople are performing some demon ritual, it felt completely rushed and took what could have been scary and made it silly.

Grade-70

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NBC “The Event” Screening Contest.

NBC plans pilot screenings for ‘The Event’

Five cities to be chosen from viewer votes

By James Hibberd, Hollywood Reporter

Coming off a successful preview screening at Comic-Con last week, NBC is rolling out pilot screenings in five cities for its fall action-drama “The Event.”

The network is partnering with Eventful Inc. and its Demand It platform to let viewers lobby for their city to receive a screening. The five cities with the most votes will win a pre-premiere screening.

” ‘The Event’ premiere episode delivers the action and adventure it promises, so we are excited to share it and feed the enthusiasm generated from Comic-Con,” said Adam Stotsky, president of NBC entertainment marketing. “Demand It creates an innovative and interactive win-win opportunity for fans and the show — what better way to spread the word.”

At Comic-Con, NBC also handed out CIA-style bluetooth earpieces to fans that play a recorded message allowing access to watch the pilot online.

“The Event” is quickly turning into NBC’s key freshman fall show, and the network is expected to roll out a considerable promotional push over the coming weeks.

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Piranha 3D

Piranha 3D

Starring: Elizabeth Shue, Adam Scott, Ving Rhames, Jerry O’ Connell, Steven R. McQueen, Kelly Brook, Christopher Lloyd and Richard Dryfus

Genre: Action, Horror, Thriller

Director: Alexandre Aja

Rated: R


A sudden earthquake centered underneath Lake Victoria unleashes a prehistoric form of man eating piranha right before spring break.

Alaxandre Aja (The Hills Have Eyes) brings together a high caliber cast for the new king of B movies.

By all accounts Piranha 3D should be terrible and from watching the previews one wonders what form of blackmail was utilized to put together such a stellar cast for a movie about man eating fish during spring break. Going into Piranha ones expectations cant be too high, the subject matter alone makes you expect the worse, But then something happens in the very first scene you quickly realize that the man fishing in Lake Victoria is Academy Award winner Richard Dryfus (reprising his role as Matt Hooper from the original don’t go in the water film Jaws); That is the point where it dawns on you that Piranha 3D might not be stupid at all and instead might just be extremely clever and a great time.

Elisabeth Shue stars as Julie Foster the Sherriff of Spring Break destination Lake Victoria along with her Deputy (Ving Rhames) She discovers the mutilated body of Matt Hooper (Richard Dryfus). Fearing that whatever killed him is still out in the water Foster calls in for help to find out what it is. Geologist Novak (Adam Scott) and his team with the help of Foster discover that an underwater lake housing the prehistoric man eaters has been opened up letting them loose. While Foster is working with Novak her son Jake (Steven R. McQueen) is working as the new “location scout” for Derrick Jones (Jerry O’Connell in a role that can only be described as inspired by Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis) creator of “Wild Wild Girls” accompanying them are Danni (Kelly Brook) and Crystal (Riley Steele) two of Derrick’s Wild Wild Girls, Kelly (Jessica Szohr) the girl he wishes was his girlfriend and cameraman Andrew (Paul Scheer) together they set out on a yacht to party and film all that Lake Victoria offers in the way of debauchery for Wild Wild Girls.

Piranha is a film that never takes itself to seriously yet at the same time delivers where it counts. There is more blood and gore on film in this than anything of recent memory. While movies like Avatar utilize 3D to enhance the film rather than be gimmicky, Piranha takes 3D to the level we always wanted it to be and that is purposely low brow with a sense of humor. Numerous dancing and partying people, Wet T-shirts, as well as Topless and Completely nude woman are all over the place dancing to the music and shaking it in 3D. The Underwater scene with Kelly Brook and Riley Steele is reason enough to see the movie. Factor in the huge amount of gore and the most over the top use of 3D involving Jerry O’Connell  (or at least part of him) and the fun never stops.

Easily the most surprising treat of the summer.

Grade -90

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The Expendables

The Expendables
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, Steve Austen, Terry Crews and Mickey Rourke.
Genre: Action
Director: Sylvester Stallone
Rated: R

Stallone stars as Barney Ross the leader of a group of mercenaries/Bikers called the expendables who take on a high risk job overthrowing the dictator of a remote third world island and the ex CIA agent backing him.

The novelty of the expendables is the combination of having all of these action stars from this generation and the last in one movie together. That novelty would have been pulled off if the focus of the movie weren’t on Stallone; to really work this had to be a true ensemble picture. Instead everyone is just a supporting player to Stallone. Stallone looks great given his age, however any scene that requires him to run is painful to watch, he looks like an old dog with hip dysplasia plodding through mud. There are two slow motion scenes where Stallone feels the need to run with explosions behind him, and that is two more than were needed. Better time would have been spent fleshing out some semblance of a character for the rest of the cast.
The group of the mercenaries includes Jason Statham as “Lee Christmas” Jet Li as “Ying Yang”, Randy Couture as “Toll Road” Terry Crews as “Hale Caesar” and Dolph Lundren as “Gunner Jensen” (Yes all completely ridiculous names).

Upon acceptance of the mission Stallone and Statham head to the tiny island of Vilena to do some recon, They go through this trouble and come up with surprisingly little in terms of actual intel, for being professionals one would think that more info would be gathered than simply finding out that Sandra (Giselle Itie) loves her island and disapproves of her father General Garza (David Zayas). For some unknown reason Stallone cant get Sandra out of his mind and once Mickey Rourke (Tool) uses up his five minutes of screen time to show everyone how to act and utilize emotion. The deal is sealed to help Sandra out.

The opening sequence and the ending sequence are what people paid the price of admission for, a bunch of actions stars killing people and blowing things up. The middle of the film is a real snooze.

On the bright side there are a few times where Stallone does seem to recognize his age, not winning every fight and not forcing himself on the much younger female lead was refreshing. I actually laughed out loud at the end of his confrontation with former CIA agent James Munroe (Eric Roberts) when Stallone utters the mandatory one liner.

Li, Statham and Lundgren are given one solo fighting scene a piece while Crews and Couture are given minimal screen time till the end.

With such a strong Action movie cast if Stallone deferred to them more and less on himself the expendables could have risen above its own gimmick and become something more than the sum of its parts.

Grade -76

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