AMERICAN MILKSHAKE – This milkshake brings nothing to the yard.

Chris Hill August 16, 2013 1
AMERICAN MILKSHAKE – This milkshake brings nothing to the yard.

American Milkshake
Starring: Tyler Ross, Shareeka Epps, Georgia Ford, Eshan Bay
Directors: David Andalman, Mariko Munro

Originally titled Milkshake not even a last minute addition of throwing American in front of it can save this teenage dramedy.

Jolie (Tyler Ross) who we find out is the great, great grandson of famous black face performer Al Jolson is a white kid in the 90’s who wishes he was black. He longs to hang out with the kids from the Maple Ave projects. Through voiceover we find out that he is in “The Magnet” the accelerated learning class for the school districts best and brightest. He tutors Henrietta (Shareeka Epps) a smart pregnant student who is tanking on purpose, and by tutoring I mean Jolie has Sex with her while her hippie dad bakes downstairs. All Jolie wants is to play on the varsity basketball team so people will think he is cool. When he does make the team it leads to a deteriorating relationship with his best friend Haroon (Eshan Bay), he has to keep his relationship with Henrietta on the down low so he can hook up with cheerleader Christine (Georgia Ford).

The biggest problem with the film is that for how smart we are supposed to believe Jolie is he is naive obnoxious and not at all convincing as being intelligent in any possible way. His basketball skills consist of looking like former NBA player Rex Chapman and being able to spin a ball on his finger.  He can’t shoot, he can’t run, and he can’t score.  He is essentially a black culture groupie. Even more mind boggling is that the Basketball team immediately accepts him, -not one person has an issue with the token white guy that can’t play- they even accept his Indian friend into the group, all because Jolie says they will have his back. He bangs two girls and maintains a relationship with his best friend in spite of the fact that Haroon gets beaten up due to Jolies actions and Jolie does nothing to stop it. This is all simply mindboggling. Jolie pisses everyone off yet this Charmless douche is constantly forgiven without any repercussions.  Within 15 minutes of hearing Jolie wax about how he loves Henrietta and how great she looks pregnant, even when he won’t be seen in public with her is infuriating add to that his incessant droning about his thug obsession and I was hoping that Jolie’s wigger ass was the victim of a drive by.

Every character in the film is a better and smarter person than Jolie, Typically in a coming of age film billed as a comedy there is some form of character progression or humor, American Milkshake has neither.
Grade -54

 

 AMERICAN MILKSHAKE   This milkshake brings nothing to the yard.

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