Twiligt Eclipse

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Starring: Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner

Genre: Drama, Fantasy, Romance

Director: David Slade

Rated: PG-13

In the third installment of the twilight saga Bella (Kristen Stewart) is forced to choose between her love for Edward (Robert Pattinson) and her friendship with Jacob (Taylor Lautner)

Twilight is first and foremost a movie that is not geared towards me in the slightest, when it comes to this franchises audience I couldn’t be further from the intended target.

Having done everything in my power to stay away from the first two, I felt it was time for a grand experiment I wanted to see if stepping into the series two movies in, if I would be able to gain any understanding or even comprehend what could possibly cause anyone to become so passionate about these characters. I have seen the long lines and I have been accosted by multiple people who I thought would have zero interest in Twilight rave about the series. Granted my preconceived notion was that there were two types of people that were interested in twilight teen emo girls and sad middle aged soccer moms longing for there youth.

My knowledge going into this is that you are either on the side of the pasty vampire “Team Edward” or on the side of the Wolf boy “Team Jacob”, And apparently they are for some reason in love with the average looking girl who has no personality and who’s entire range of emotion includes staring blankly with dead eyes and looking stoned.

My first foray into the life of Bella Swan consisted of putting forth an incredible effort not to laugh as Bella’s voiceover reads poetry about fire and ice and then transitions to Bella reading to Edward in a field. Edward with haunting emotion begins to really put on the vampire charm and beg for Bella to marry him. My knowledge of vampires was that vampires couldn’t be in the sun, that they were seductive and mesmerizing while possessing a menace from there sheer presence. On all accounts Edward proved me wrong to see someone that is undead and immortal beg a flannel wearing girl who is as interesting as the moss growing on a rain soaked tree in Forks, was both sad and pathetic. I soon saw Edward at school which In hindsight I found odd as I realized that Edward is over one hundred years old. I am not sure why he is in school, the feeling of oddness turned into repulsion as I realized that Edward is really a creepy old pedophile in a teens body. I am not sure how its romantic to have someone of his advanced years trying to take a teen bride.

I was then introduced to the wolf boy who for no explainable reason is in love with Bella as well. One would think if you had the power to shape shift into what looked like a giant computer animated Dog you could do better than try to pick up the pedo’s girl. Rather than find someone else Jacob walks around shirtless and introduces Bella to the history of why Vampires and Werewolves are enemies.

Overall what I took from Eclipse is that people enjoy if for what they wish romance could be. Twilight is a world where someone completely unremarkable can be courted and fought over by two guys who in this world would have no interest in her.

It also reaffirmed to me that I have no business watching these films.

Grade for me – 62

Grade for the intended Audience – 85