Battleship

Starring: Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Liam Neeson, Brooklyn Decker, Rihanna

Director: Peter Berg

 

Off the coast of Hawaii an alien force invades America, It’s up to the Japanese and American Navy to fight off the invading armada.

 

Slacker and Miscreant Alex Hooper (Taylor Kitsch) gets arrested for breaking into a convenience store to steal a chicken burrito in hopes of impressing Sam (Brooklyn Decker) the hot daughter of Admiral Shane (Liam Neeson) his brother Stone’s (Alexander Skarsgard) commanding officer. When said break in goes awry Alex is left no choice but to follow in his brothers footsteps and join the Navy to get his act together. When an alien race invades the earth off the coast of Hawaii they put up a barrier that locks in Alex leaving him the commanding officer to try and thwart their dastardly plans.

 

From the get go you have to know basing a two hour film off a board game, where all you do is guess the location of a plastic ship, is going to have a thin premise. Battleship doesn’t disappoint, aside from a 5 minute sequence that actually does tie in the board game, there is absolutely nothing in common between the game and the film. The film’s plot is weak with an alien menace that has to rank as the lamest in film history. I know in my mind that when I am trying to conjure the scariest creatures that the depths of space could hold, my first thoughts jump to tall Albinos. Not since Signs (where the Aliens are afraid of water yet invade a planet made up of primarily water) has a foe been this ridiculous. If your Kryptonite is the Sun don’t invade Hawaii chances are pretty good that it’s going to be bright outside. Another major downfall is the spinning grinding wheels that the ships shoot out. It literally looks like the shave heads from an old Norelco electric razor have gone rogue and felt the need to destroy everything in sight.

The cast is serviceable with the weakest link being Rihanna in her first and hopefully last film role. She steps firmly into what can only be described as a role written with Michelle Rodriguez in mind, that’s right mean faces and tough girl posturing, she is the only one who feels the need to spout lame and clichéd one liners like an 80’s action hero. She also jumps off a sinking ship but has the wherewithal to hold onto her baseball hat when she is underwater so she doesn’t lose it. I know that if I was in her shoes fighting aliens I would only have two priorities wearing my baseball hat at all times and saying Mahalo Mother F’er. Other points of lameness include a gigantic space ship splashing down on the water yet not making a big enough wave to splash a zodiac. A shrill Alien noise that can shatter the glass of a ship a mile away yet by simply covering your ears next to the source you won’t even get a slight case of tinnitus.

 

My guess is that it soon will be time to add another box office bomb to the Taylor Kitsch resume between John Carter and this someone might want to make sure the guy isn’t wearing any shoelaces.

 

Battleship is silly and ridiculous with not a morsel of intelligence to it. If Avengers is deliciously buttered large popcorn then Battleship is the sticky spilled soda on the theater floor.

Grade-67

The Dictator

Strarring: Sacha Baron Cohen, Anna Faris, Ben Kingsley

Director: Larry Charles

The Story of General Aladeen who travels to New York to speak to the U.N about his country’s Nuclear program, When he is replaced with a body double and removed from his trademark beard, He must team up with the former head of his nuclear program to save his country from the terrors of democracy.
This is the 3^rdpairing of Larry Charles and Sacha Baron Cohen after the success of Borat and Bruno, while those films required subterfuge and stealth tactics to include improvised scenes with the unsuspecting.( ala Bruno’s interview with Ron Paul). The Dictator is more in line with Baron Cohens Ali G in Da House as this is a scripted comedy. Baron Cohen stars as General Aladeen an incompetent Dictator who spends his spare time having sex with American Celebrities and Killing anyone doesn’t agree with him. Aladeen fancies himself a tyrannical and brutal dictator of the oil rich west African country Wadiya, when in reality it’s the people around him that run the show primarily his uncle and rightful heir to the throne Tamir (Ben Kingsley).
Once in New York and separated from his almighty Beard of infinite power. Aladeen meets up with Zoey the horribly underrated Anna Faris sexed down as a short haired tree hugging natural foods feminist who manages a refuge ran Co-Op. Aladeen now is forced to spend his time between working for Zoey and plotting with his former head Scientist “Nuclear” Nadal (Jason Mantzoukas ) to break into the UN and replace his body double which has in turn replaced him. All of this is just the groundwork for Baron Cohen to launch a scathingly funny political satire. While lacking the spontaneity of Borat and Bruno it makes up for it with some of the most outrageous comedy to assault theaters in some time.  There are very few comedians that have the balls to create such a character and compare his fictional dictatorship to current US policy. No ethnic group is safe from Baron Cohens skewering, and that is where Baron Cohen shines. While the Dictator isn’t for everyone such as those who lack the cognitive capacity to understand satire or can’t handle the limits being pushed those that do will be rewarded with a gutsy comedy that is never short on laughs.
Grade- 82

 

 

This past April 26^th – May 3^rd The city of Newport Beach held its Annual film festival showcasing over 400 films from 50 countries. As always the usual pomp and circumstance was held including two elaborate galas. The films ran the gamut from features to documentaries to action sports.

I had the opportunity to check out a cross section of films including The Woman Knight of Mirror Lake (China), Shuffle (USA), Headhunters (Norway) and Adventures in Plymptoons (USA).

Shuffle
Starring: TJ Thyne, Paula Rhodes, Tamara Taylor, Chris Stone
Director: Kurt Kuenne

Every time Lovell Milo falls asleep he wakes up in a different time frame of his life.

Lovell Milo has a problem he is always tired but every time he falls asleep he wakes up at a different point in his life. He has no idea why and must try to figure out the clues to solve the mystery. Shuffle is a film that could have easily been made 40 years ago. Originally shot in color but later changed to black and white which was the right decision for the film. Lovell is essentially trapped in a time travelling Christmas Carol minus the direction provided by the ghosts. With a nice pull from TJ Thyne Shuffle was able to add a couple of members from the cast of Bones (Tamara Taylor, Patricia Belcher) who bring some star power to the smartly crafted indie. Already picked up for distribution Shuffle is the type of film that sucks you in and makes you take stock of your own life, while questioning the decisions you have made. Grade – 80

Headhunters
Starring: Aksel Hennie, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Julie R Olgaard,
Director: Morten Tyldum

A Headhunter risks it all to steal a valuable painting owned by a former mercenary

Roger Brown (Aksel Hennie) is a successful yet diminutive headhunter, short in stature with a taste for the finer things. A gorgeous wife a fabulous home and a mistress for on the side, the only problem for Roger is that although he makes good money he doesn’t make that good of money. Enter Rogers side job, when not trying to fill high profile positions he moonlights as an Art thief. Enter Clas Greve (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) a former mercenary who happens to be in possession of a painting that could be Rogers final score. In the midst of acquiring the painting from Clas’ residence he finds his wife’s cell phone, bringing into question her ability to be faithful.  The next thing Roger knows is he in the midst of a cat and mouse game and being hunted by Clas.

Headhunters is the first film based on the works of famed Norweigan Author Jo Nesbø, For those that don’t know Nesbø is considered to be the biggest author out of Norway since Stieg Larson. Headhunters is already being fastracked for an American adaptation with Mark Wahlberg rumored to be attached.
To go heavily into the plot would be to give away the constant twists and turns. The cast is stellar with Hennie (who can best be described as a Nordic Steve Buscemi) is able to exude such a level of empathy as Roger to ultimately win the audience over, slowly you find yourself pulling for the bug eyed art thief who is beyond being in over his head. Roger finds himself  going from one extreme situation to the next trying to outwit Clas, the Man who is Rogers polar opposite Tall, Handsome, Wealthy and well trained in military tactics, Clas is everything that Roger wishes he could be.

Morten Tyldum’s direction brings to the screen a darkly humorous and surprisingly violent thriller that is a wild ride from start to finish. Headhunters odd mixture of offbeat characters in over there head mixed with a criminal element can best  be likened to the works of the Cohen bros, Its Fargo meets The Thomas Crown Affair. Grade- 91

Adventures in Plymptoons!
Starring: Bill Plympton, Terry Gilliam, Ed Begley Jr., Mathew Modine
Director: Alexia Anastasio

An intimate look into the life of maverick animator Bill Plympton. Bill as well as friends both famous and not so famous, recount tales of Bill from his early days growing up as a loner in Oregon to running his own animation studio in New York. Interspersed between tales of Bill are clips of his unique work. Bill Plympton is many things being a magnificent artist is just part of it. Few people possess the principles of Plympton, He famously turned down a job with Disney (the mouse house is easily the most coveted job in animation) because he didn’t want to give up the rights to his work. While a majority of animation is geared towards children, Plympton sets his sights on a different audience. He has made films with sexual content as well as some of the greatest clips to feature his own unique take on violence. While some films are adult in nature they are more cerebral than exploitative. You can judge a man by the company he keeps and when one of the people to speak your praises is Terry Gilliam you know you’re dealing with someone who has a unique vision. In an era where people will sell themselves out to make a buck, it takes a man like Plympton to buck the system and do things his own way. Plympton is a legend and rightfully so he is an original voice in a sea of sameness. Adventures in Plymptoons is a must see look into the life of one of the world’s greatest artists. Grade – 94

The Woman Knight of Mirror Lake
Starring: Huang Yi, Dennis To

Set in the early 20^th century, The Woman Knight of Mirror Lake tells the true story of Qui Jin a young Chinese woman who makes it her life’s work to fight for Woman rights and radical revolutionary leanings in hopes of overthrowing the Qing Dynasty.

Not knowing whether to be a martial arts film or a character study Woman Knight is unable to succeed in either regard. Qui Jin ultimately becomes a martyr for standing up to what she didn’t believe in but what was truly highlighted was that she was a selfish woman who abandoned her children and family under the guise of loving her country. I don’t know enough about Chinese history to comment on if this was an accurate representation of the woman but to go to japan to study without informing your husband or two children and then coming back only when you are in debt to just abandon them in the middle of a performance is hardly admirable. In between leaving her family like a thief in the night Qui plots to stand up against the government these moments the film turns into a bad martial arts film with ridiculous wire work. The pacing was slow, watching this is more painful than Chinese finger torture, never informing me enough on the significance of the woman nor entertaining me enough to care. Grade – 58

It’s the cross section and diversity that I really enjoy from the Newport Beach Film Festival, while not every film is a winner, they put on a solid event that keeps me coming back to my sister city every year.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

God Bless America
Starring: Joel Murray, Tara Lynne Barr
Director: Bobcat Goldthwait

Disgusted by society, terminally ill Frank teams up with Roxy a teenage outcast to go on a killing spree to rid the world of this blight.

Written and Directed by Bobcat Goldthwait who quietly has made a successful transition from Actor/Comedian to building up an impressive list of directorial credits. Bobcat brings to screen a vigilante comedy that skews America in unapologetic fashion.

To say things are not going well for Frank (Joel Murray) is a bit of an understatement, He lives next door to a white trash couple a complete lack of manners, not to mention a screaming burden that they refuse to keep quiet. He was recently fired from his job for a misconstrued act of kindness, his own daughter is an obnoxious brat and on top of all that he has been diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor. Every where he turns he notices the decay of society and the dumbing down of America to its lowest common denominator. When Frank realizes he has nothing to lose he takes matters into his own hands, these events lead him to team up with high schooler Roxy who relishes the chance to join Frank on his quest to make America just a touch nicer.

From the moment we meet Frank and his shotgun blasting vision of quieting the family next door you know that Bobcat doesn’t pull any punches. His wry commentary on the current state of America is
shockingly violent and uproariously funny. God Bless America is a spot on observation of the current cultural climate, where talent is no longer a requirement, where the worst possible behaviors are rewarded with instant celebrity. God Bless America puts a much need spotlight on an instant gratification society that lacks any form of common decency.

Grade- 86

The Avengers

Starring: Robert Downey Jr, Chris Evans, Mark Rufalo, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson

Director Joss Whedon

When Loki steals an object that will allow an Alien army attack the US, Nick Fury must unite the only hope for Earths salvation a group of Heroes known as the Avengers

 

The first hour and a half is all about S.H.I.E.L.D scouring the globe to get the band together and then get everyone to learn to play nice. Building up for an action packed second half climax that is an hour long rampage across New York (Cleveland Filled in for NYC, most likely due to the fact that the city is a ghost town and nobody would know if you destroyed it. In Fact I have it on good authority that no CGI was used in the destruction of the City). Loki (Tom Hiddleston), Thors (Chris Hemsworth) brother and pompous ass with the greasy mullet who was easily beaten by having a hammer placed on him in Thor, Is somehow the genius who with the help of an Alien species and a glowing blue scepter is after the Tesseract a cosmic cube of unlimited energy that will allow Loki to rule the subservient human race. Enter Ironman (Robert Downey Jr) given just as many one liners as if it was Ironman 3, The Hulk ( Mark Ruffalo) proving that despite the Ang Lee/ Eric Bana debacle and the so so Ed Norton reboot that the Hulk can actually make the transformation and Smash on the big screen, Captain America (Chris Evans) the original Avenger, along with Black Widow (Scarlett Johanson) gone is the Karate Vogueing of Ironman 2 no longer are we subjugated to a ridiculous pose each time she  dispatches a bad guy, and to round out the troupe Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) Solid as always. While these are the key players one can not forget about Agent Phil Coulson (Clark Gregg) The guy lights up the screen every time he is on it, epitomizing a scene stealer. We get the bickering and the banter, the team gets assembled they squabble they fight. Only under extreme circumstances do they finally function as a team.

 

Even with the Whedon pedigree I was expecting a lack of story given that many heroes, it’s tough to get a good balance going given how strong each character is, these are The Avengers not the X-Men we don’t have filler heroes like storm. There is a reason that Whedon is the nerd messiah, the guy knows what fanboys want as well as the casual fan. Whedon is able to balance out the screen time of each character giving enough room for each character to grow as well as enough background that any newbie off the street could walk in and enjoy the film. The weakest part of the entire film is Loki, Not the character himself but his look, the pseudo mullet, the lame ram horn helmet, A super villain should not look like they just left a new jersey renaissance fair. I want my super villains to look they could conquer the world not be an understudy in a midsummer night’s dream.

 

The special effects are spectacular; The Hulk is phenomenal you can truly see the growth of CGI technology, especially if you compare it to earlier incarnations. The 3^rd act of the film is a breathtaking spectacle of destruction that is beyond compare.

Avengers is clever, fun and exciting a superhero orgy of awesomeness that raises the bar for the genre.

 

Grade-94

The Raven

Starring: John Cusack, Luke Evans, Alice Eve

Director: James McTeigue

 

A madman is on the loose in 19^th century Baltimore, using the works of Poe as inspiration for a spree of grisly murders.

It’s 1849 in Baltimore a time when the streets were made of cobblestone, fog enveloped the land and everything was just a bit drearier than it is today. A master poet named Edgar Allen Poe (John Cusack) has seen his best years and his best work pass him by. Now a lowly critic the worst profession imaginable for a man who used to create art, now relegated to delivering his opinion on those that are the creators (The irony was not lost on those that attended the press screening). Poe’s mercurial tongue is now utilized to deliver his disdain for the likes of Longfellow and all others who are not fit to hold his Quill. Destitute with a penchant for the not so occasional brandy snifter, Poe is put to the test when a deranged mad man starts a maniacal murdering spree based solely on the written words of Poe. When his fiancée Emily (Alice Eve) is abducted, Poe must unite with Detective Fields (Up and comer Luke Evans Zeus from The Immortals) to track down the killer before Emily becomes a footnote in one of Poe’s tales.

 

Much has been said about Poe that he is the Master of Macabre, the Grandfather of Goth he was essentially the Steven King of his time, creating works that still inspire to this day. Cusack brings a dark charm that I didn’t know he possessed. I have seen many a Cusack film and have yet to see him put forth such a display of layered range. Cusack’s Poe is haunted, disturbed and tortured by his past, displaying a level of Melancholia and sadness with an acerbic wit that I never envisioned he had. As Poe’s Love interest Emily, Alice Eve (in her second consecutive role as an Emily the last being in ATM) Delivers a stellar performance. For the first time in ages someone gets kidnapped without losing their grip on sanity. To see Emily locked in a coffin and told to be quiet or she would die and have her get calm and show the fear in her eyes, delivering a single tear, was great work. Luke Evans showed why his star is on the rise delivering a rock solid portrayal of Detective Fields, Accents are not the easiest to pull off and you would have no idea that he is a Welshman.

 

The Raven isn’t a horror fest but more of a brooding thriller with a few scenes of Gore. Which brings me to my biggest issue, Computer Generated Blood, It doesn’t look real and while there is a time and place for it I am more of a purist as gorehound. Just like how literature is an art form so are special effects. While the Pit and the Pendulum scene utilized an extensive amount of CGI blood I found the throat slash near the end to be visually more powerful. The Raven is a solid thriller and it’s a joy to watch Cusack get put through the paces as Poe. I didn’t feel invested enough in the motive of the killer nor in the CGI blood to really push it to the next level.

 

Grade – 86