The brain trust figured, well lets add some new fading stars and a couple of up and comers and right this sinking ship. Big mistake, first off Mel Gibson is still considered a pariah. I have nothing against the guy and have no problems giving Riggs a second, third or fourth chance, Hell he earned that with Apocalypto. Apparently I am much more forgiving than the public. Outside of Banderas he is the best part of the film. Snipes is nobody that is going to bring people to pay for a ticket and unless ford is playing Indiana Jones or Han Solo nobody is really interested in the gruff mumbler, he was never really a stupid action guy anyway. Antonio Banderas is a bright light in this film but we are not in Spain. The Nasonex bee is not drawing people in. Somewhere the concept of bringing in 80’s action stars has turned into bringing in Fading stars. There was a nostalgic draw to the first film it was an action version of Oceans Eleven.
Now for the newcomers the only two who anybody are familiar with are Kellan Lutz and Ronda Rousey. Lutz has not broken into being any form of a draw yet as evidence by his starring turn in Box Office Bomb ‘The Legend of Hercules’ earlier this year. While Ronda is a whole other situation. In the UFC Ronda embraces a bit of a heel persona (she is the opposite of the baby face Gina Carrano who has faceplanted poving that acting isnt her thing). The problem is this isn’t the WWE where people easily separate your on screen persona from your real personality. Ronda is a female Diaz brother sporting middle fingers, running her mouth and talking without a filter. While this is great for the UFC particularly since she is undefeated and nothing draws more eyes to a screen than a champion you cant stand defending their belt. Waiting with baited breath for someone to finally shuts them up. This isn’t the persona that will bring people familiar with her to the local multiplex. Ronda likes to compare herself to Dwayne Johnson yet fails to realize his Rock persona was that of a comedic Anti-Hero he was a bad good guy. Outside of the octagon nobody wants to smell what she is cooking.
People are going to say that Piracy lead to the downfall. While the film was downloaded 2 million times that doesn’t make up for more than the 50% drop in opening sales compared to the first one. Furthermore this isn’t a film that translates to the small screen. Everyone knows the movie is going to be a mindless ride so its not like they are going to read a critics opinion to decide if they are going to see it. The reason people got into the franchise was too see all their old heroes on screen at the same time. That isn’t the product that was delivered in number two and certainly not in number 3, everyone is strictly a supporting cast member to main star Stallone and that is a big hurdle to overcome. We have seen the 68 year old stubbornly refuse to grow old and are just not interested anymore. The Tats, the Veins, the facework that has the middle of the eyebrow touching his scalp, its all too much. Supposedly with age comes wisdom and none of the characters do anything remotely clever it is strictly brute force. Some brain and less braun might have been a refreshing angle. Rather than watch an almost 70 year old man rumble on top of a building avoiding explosions before leaping off only to grab a rope hanging under a helicopter.
We didn’t see the first one to reignite a Stallone action career we saw it to hang with old friends. We wanted more than corny jokes and one liners. We grew up and wanted to see how are heroes grew up. It was a class reunion of sorts. Now four years later we realize that those same classmates we were curious about are exactly the same. Unfortunately we exchanged details, we friended each other on Facebook and now every two years they remind us that nothing has changed except the addition of some bratty kids. Quickly you realize there was a reason you stopped being in touch in the first place I was tired of your schtick twenty years ago and seeing it all over again just makes me realize why we originally lost contact and that’s what Expendables 3 did, It confirmed we grew apart and made me want to unfriend all of them.
