Director:
Writer:
Stars:
Paul Johansson, Thea Gill, Sebastian Spence
When a string of mysterious tornados start springing up around New England launching exploding rocks. It’s up to a former storm chaser turned science teacher (Paul Johansson)and his ex partner and local meteorologist (Sebastian Spence), along with his police officer sister (Miranda Frigon) to solve the mystery of what is going on and put an end to the Stonados.
To say Stonados is preposterous is an understatement, this is Syfy camp at its finest. Filmed before SyFy’s other famous nado that took the twitterverse by storm (pun intended). Lest you think that this is a cheap ploy to grab some cash and eyes.
You know a movie is dripping with cheese when a basketball player is shooting hopos at a park in Boston when he is suddendly crushed by a dislodged Plymouth Rock. This isn’t a movie you are going to watch, for plot, acting, or special effects. You might watch it for its sheer awfulness and to watch people get pelted with rocks shot by a sling shot of a tornado.
Maddy the police officer runs around like she is Barney fife patrolling Mayberry not Boston. She has no actual beat and reports to nobody. The wind will blow on only the principal actors, the tornadoes do no damage and it’s all a bloodless affair. It’s made to be so bad it’s entertaining and it actually is. It’s god awful yet worth the time to watch. So bad it’s it’s just bad yet a little funny,and Paul Johansen is the most lumbering unbelievable actor in recent memory, running around Boston as if he just had his spine fused together into one giant imovable vertebrae. The only thing worse than his acsting is the bad cgi’d stonados that do zero damage aside from sling rocks, these truly are the most pitiful twisters ever.Its great to watch people get crushed to death in front of a child without anybody getting overly upset or there being any blood whatsover.
Did I mention this is all illogical, ill concieved and to my own detriment an enjoyable film to watch. Syfy knows what makes something so bad its good and this is another example. It wont be getting a theatrical screening anytime soon and rightfully so. It should be enjoyed in the confort of your own home with the shades pulled down, it will be our secret.
Grade – A fun 58