Starring: Paul Walker, Vin Diesel, Dwayne Johnson
Director: Justin Lin
Rated: PG-13
The return of a franchise that many thought would not be going strong 12 years and 6 films later.
The first in the series was a Car fueled clone of the 1991 classic Point Break followed up by 3 unbearable sequels, finally regaining its footing with Fast 5 which was essentially an Oceans 11 knockoff on wheels. I would like to say that they found a new film to mimic and add cars to, as that is when Fast thrives alas that is not the case.
At this point Fast is derivative, cartoonish and just flat out preposterous. All the players are brought back from the last film. The cast of characters has been relegated to a cast of caricatures, not only has Vin Diesel as Torreto, not changed in 12 years neither has his wardrobe. The complete Torreto costume is intact including one white V Neck, one white wife beater and one black wife beater add that to his beating us over the head with “we are a family” ethos with all the subtlety of a 450 V8 and you have the exact same guy you had 12 years ago.
The only thing more ridiculous than the Torreto wife beaters, are seeing Dwayne Johnson(Hobbs) pimp Under Armour Shirts. The shameless Johnson clearly relish’s shoving them down the audience’s throat in yet another film. Dwayne we smell what your cooking, it’s an Under Armour endorsement deal.
The new addition of Gina Carano (Riley) is a colossal failure, I am a huge Carano fan but after her voice was altered in Haywire and her performance in this, she might want to dust off the MMA gloves. The cast is not exactly known for their exceptional thespian skills but I am pretty sure she could have been replaced by a FATHEAD wall decal and delivered more emotion. Every scene she is in without dialog she stares blankly. I understand not knowing what to do with your hands but to not do anything while people are talking makes me regret her decision to leave MMA.
The worst of the bunch though, was that we were led to believe that Michelle Rodriguez character Letty was killed in the 4th installment only to regrettably be brought back with the hackiest cliche this side of daytime television, Amnesia. Michelle Rodgriguez is not only the same character in this film but in every film she is in, a tough and fiery Latina who calls you a bitch right before you die. We get it! I didn’t like the character a decade ago, I didn’t like it in Resident Evil, or Battle LA. To see her back sickens me.
Trying to one up the previous films has resulted in ineffective and nonsensical car chase scenes. At one point Torreto leaps from a speeding car goes about 20 feet in the air, catches Letty in midair landing on his back, all without injury. There is one scene where a character gets hit by a speeding car, flying over the vehicle. The next scene the person is kicking ass in a fight.
Somewhere in this garbled mess are the remnants of plot involving the mysterious Shaw (Luke Evans) who actually is just a bad guy trying to make a buck on the free market. He is just one part away from assembling something, to sell to someone. You are watching this film for car chases not plot and neither work. Shaw has a gang that is the Bizzaro version of Torreto and O’connors crew they are a group of Evil doppelgängers, who seem to be constantly one step ahead. That is until the End.
Fast 6 is overly predictable with car chases that went from probable in the first film to implausible now. That won’t likely stop the core audience from showing up. At this point the roar of the engine is a pavlovian bell for us to sit through nonsense.
Grade – 62
Spoiler
Hobbs is on the Hunt for Shaw and he enlists Torreto and company to help by offering pardons and showing a pic of Letty to Torreto. Everyone assembles to get Letty back in the family (apparently they are some Manson family type commune where you can’t leave). They succeed in getting Letty back but they release Shaw once they learn that Shaw’s cronies have Mia (Jordana Brewster) captured. Why don’t they make a deal of Shaw for Mia? That would make sense rather they let Shaw walk away while they cross their fingers and hope that he lets Mia go. They give chase to rescue Mia and Hans would be wife Gisele (Gal Gadot) gets killed in the ensuing action. Nobody seems to care either, for a group that stresses family they sure got over that one pretty quick. In the end Han trades in his woman for a pardon and for Torreto to get Letty back. It’s all worth it because they can now barbecue together like a family.
Han you picked the wrong family bitch!
